Soon, you will marry a guy whose culture is totally different from yours. You live all your life in the USA. He was born, raised and grew up in Israel. You may wonder, “Am I really prepared to embrace his culture?” One way or another, you have to take up the challenge. Complete frankness with each other is vital. Sources of irritation should be aired before they grow out of proportion. See what can be worked out. Some, after all effort has been made, may find lifestyles are just too dissimilar and that they just cannot make the required changes. If so, it is better to realize this before entering into a lifelong arrangement that will make both unhappy.
These suggestions will prove helpful:
- Avoid comparisons to former way of life. - Do not make constant comparisons of your new situation with the life you left behind. Accept the fact that your previous way of doing things is not the only way. It may be more familiar and comfortable for you, but everyone around you is used to live a different way. For example, the main meal in a husband's place is at midday, whereas back home it may have been in the evening. So instead of having her husband grab a sandwich at noon, a wife is expected to have a hot meal ready, and he usually expects her to share it with him. All it takes to keep life smooth is adaptability, applied by both partners.
- Try new foods. - While on the subject of meals, cultivating a taste for local dishes is also helpful. Trying a new dish "just once" to please one's mate may be delightfully surprising. Perfecting it and adding it to those dishes you regularly prepare will further cement the marriage.
- Learn the local customs. - Take time to learn the local social customs. Some can quickly be learned just by observation. For example: polite conversation, even with deliverymen; offering a cup of coffee or a cold drink even to the casual visitor; and rising to greet visitors with a firm handshake and relatives with a kiss on each cheek.
Ask your mate what will be expected of you in any new situation. For example, one bride was told by her husband that it is the custom even for adult children to kiss the hand of their parents and in-laws as they greet them. It is the local sign of respect. The first few times that she complied with the custom, it felt awkward. But later it became a matter of habit, and besides pleasing her in-laws very much, it made for good family relations.
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