There is some one thing at the crux of every man or woman's life from which all else springs. In the same sense that the laws of relativity can be deduced from the simple mathematical expression E=MC2, so can all the intricate and complex mysteries of a woman's soul be deduced from her need to be loved. That doesn't mean that there are not a hundred things which no one knows about women. But when and if they are discovered, it will be found that they fit harmoniously with that which is already known and can be deduced from the premise.

Men live for respect and women live for love. That is the first great key to understanding any woman. Love is at the heart and core of everything she does. She lives to be loved and to give love, and when something or someone destroys that inside her, she has a tendency to want to destroy it and all others, so paramount is that need.

On the other hand, what a man wants is to be respected. Now it becomes obvious that he has the need to be loved as well, but respect is primary and love secondary. He seeks the second only after he has fulfilled the first and is only happy when he has both, in that order.

A man wants to be loved, but only from within the context of being respected. And one soon learns that a woman wants to be respected, but only from within the context of being loved. In other words, if you respect a man for what he can do, then he wants you to love him for what he is. If you love a woman for what she is, then she wants you to respect her for what she can do.

Specifically, this means that when men and women play mixed doubles in tennis together, the men are primarily interested in winning, and secondarily, they hope that everyone will have a good time. Women, on the other hand, want everyone to enjoy the game, and winning is only secondary. Men live for accomplishment but women prefer pleasantry.

There is no rightness or wrongness involved in the matter. Each sees life from within the context of his or her greatest need. It has nothing to do with one being logical and the other illogical. It simply is the way things are.

I'm not for a moment going to pretend that some men don't just want to have fun and some women don't possess the killer instinct. But a man who plays just for fun doesn't need any more respect since his need for it has already been filled in some way, or else he is so afraid of failing that he rationalizes away his need to protect his ego.

On the other hand, a woman who is determined to win has in some way been rejected as a woman and is compensating for it by saying, "If you won't love me as a woman, at least I'll make you respect me as a person."

The only times women are extremely aggressive and possess the "killer instinct," most of the time, are when they are competitively seeking the love of a man, or are seeking to protect a child. This competition is fairly frequent in regard to winning men, and this is why women often don't like each other.