There is a crucial timing differential between the moment a man is first attracted to a woman and the time when she becomes interested in him. This is the normal state of affairs.

Occasionally, however, the timing of a woman's interest may run at about the same speed as her interested pursuer, or even faster. That is possible, but not probable. When this does happen, a man attributes his success to his greatness, when in reality he is just in the basic price range and available. If he has greatness, it is in learning how to know when the right time is approaching and to be there often by skill instead of occasionally by luck.

That reminds me of a short story I once read that illustrates the concept of differential timing quite well. A rather average young man on duty in a Southeast Asian country agrees to take mind-reading lessons from an Asiatic sage. He starts out casually, but before long he is making great progress. He soon discovers that he can read women's minds. He senses when they are feeling insecure. What started out as an academic pursuit turns into a preoccupation. He learns that his sixth sense will tell him just when a woman needs the security of being loved and then he can step in with confidence to set the stage for winning her.

The concept of mind reading illustrates what the normal man has to try to do in regard to timing; but of course, unless he does read minds he won't function with quite as much efficiency.

As we've said, the timing is crucial. There is yet another punch line, however, to the heavy emphasis that is being put on timing. "Yes, that is true if you are there waiting with the face of a Greek god, a wallet full of money, and an expensive sports car." This comment overstates the case, but it still makes it plain that the timing is of value only if you are in her basic price range.

A man knows which women interest him five seconds after he enters a room. He takes one look at a woman, and, if he likes what he sees, he concludes he is interested enough to see if she has character and compassion, is "good" and good for something too. This all takes time, but at least he knows in a few seconds whether or not he is willing to pursue her to see if she has these other qualities.

Since she isn't attracted to men by sight and she is concerned even more than he is with character, compassion, sensitivity, and goodness, it obviously will take her considerably more time to make up her mind. Remember that women marry chiefly for security.

A man expects a woman to make some kind of decision concerning him too soon. He wants her to make a decision shortly after he does. When she doesn't show great reciprocal interest, it is not that she has weighed him carefully in the balance and has found him lacking. She is still unaware that he really wants her to give him a hearing. He hasn't been rejected. He usually hasn't even yet been seriously considered.

That is not a play on words, because if he does do something to get himself considered, there is an excellent chance that, if he makes his play when the relationship is deep enough for her to consider his worth, she will desire him.

A man loses when he tries to get "too deep, too soon" in his relationship with a woman. This is true of both an emotional commitment and sex. The shallow man is tempted to try for sex and the moral man to get a promise of emotional commitment. Most men lack patience.