You’re on a second or third date with a new guy, and it’s going rather well. You like him, and you’ve got a sneaky feeling he might like you, too. Then, wham, he says it: “I love you.” You are reeling. You don’t know whether to shout it from the rooftops, or to punch him cold for spinning you a line. You suspect he says it to all the girls but then again, could he actually mean it?
The problem is that you don’t know much about him either. And that makes it difficult.
Love or Sex
Not all guys will actually say “I love you,” but they will use all sorts of variations on the theme. If you both want the same thing, fine, but you must know the risk you are taking and the consequences of engaging in premarital/illicit sex. If you want something a bit more permanent, however, then you’ve got to wise up to his ways. Unless he comes over like a scumbag, it might be worth giving him a second chance.
Girls are blessed with a strong sense of intuition; use it at a time like this. How? First off, do not rush into bed with him because you’ve been dying to hear those words. Trust your gut reaction. If he’s actually quite nice, don’t give into his charm now; see how things develop. That way, if he turns out to be Mr. All Right, that would be great. If not, then at least you’ve avoided humiliation at the hands of Mr. Horribly Wrong. Very often it’s just a macho thing and, you’ll never know, he may even respect you more for rejecting his advances.
Take it Slow
Don’t let him set the pace by making “love” the yardstick by which to measure everything. Both of you should not use the word cheaply and force yourselves into deep commitment too soon. As the relationship progresses, the two of you will look for more and more from each other. Remember, start by taking it nice and easy.
Some do’s
- Take your time to decide – only fools rush in.
- Listen to your gut reaction (if you think he’s a disgusting creep, he probably is).
- Be honest. Tell him you like him but you’re not ready for all that heavy stuff yet.
- Get to know him better. One day you could be hearing him say it and mean it.
Some don’ts
- Panic, grasp his hand and pledge undying love.
- Have sex and regret it.
- Laugh so hard – he might mean it.
Best reasons to stay together
- You love being with him.
- You want more time with each other.
- You’ve discussed getting married and feel the same way.
Worst reasons to live together
- He/You have nowhere else to live.
- Your relationship is in a rut.
- You can keep tabs on him.
- All you friends are doing it.


Comments